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Play It Again Brian Lois Toppless

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Family Guy is an animated television serial created past Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The bear witness was canceled in 2002, but afterward extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, product of new episodes for Pull a fast one on resumed in 2005.

Family unit Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation Exercise Non merits ownership nor authorship of the contents on this folio. The contents of this page are meant for reference proposes just. Wikiquote, nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, has no affiliation to 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape or form.

Blue Harvest [edit]

[Opening Dialogue for "Family Guy Episode IV: A New Hope"]
It is a time of civil war and renegade paragraphs flying through space.
There's cool space battles, and the bad guy is the expert guy's dad, but y'all don't find that out until the side by side episode.
And this hot chick is really the sis of the good guy, but they don't know it, and they kiss, which is kinda messed up. I mean, what if they had washed information technology instead of just kissed?
Angelina Jolie kissed her brother. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know information technology, and her dad knows information technology. That's why they hardly e'er talk anymore. You tin run away to Africa, but yous tin't run away from the truth.
Oh, past the way, here'due south a tip for you lot: when this is over, get out and rent the movie Gia. She's style naked in it, and makes out with some other chick and everything. It's crawly. I stumbled across it late at night on HBO after I had but got back from hockey, and I about fainted. But I digest...
Princess Leia was coming dorsum from buying space groceries when this happened...
[C-3PO and R2-D2 are walking beyond a desert]
C-3PO (Quagmire): Ok, who would you lot rather practice, Jabba the Hutt right later a shower, or a service droid?
R2-D2 (Cleveland): [angrily] My father was a service droid! [starts to leave]
C-3PO (Quagmire): Hey, where are you going?
R2-D2 (Cleveland): Oh, you can just osculation the lower back finish of the canister that is my body.
Luke: Well, I guess I'll become bullseye some womprats in my T-16.
C-3PO: My God, you shoot small animals for fun? That's the first indicator of a serial killer, you lot freak!
Luke: There'due south two suns and no women! What the hell am I supposed to do?!
[At the Decease Star meeting]
Admiral Motti: Whatever attack made by the Rebels confronting this station would be a useless gesture, no thing what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate ability in the universe.
Darth Vader (Stewie): That is fantastic! Terrific work! So, no weaknesses at all?
Admiral: ...N-no.
Vader: You...yous hesitated there. Is there something I should know?
Admiral: No, information technology's virtually indestructible, like 99.99%
Vader: Okay, wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't enquire what's the .01?
Admiral: Well, there'south this little hole, information technology was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect, and if yous shoot a light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation into this hole, the station blows up.
Vader: Whoa, whoa! That sounds like a pretty big design flaw.
Admiral: Nah, it's goose egg. I mean, the hole's only about ii meters across.
K Moff Tarkin (Adam W): Why, that's no bigger than a womp rat.
Admiral: Exactly. And to even get within range of it, you have to skim along this whole trench, it's no big deal.
Vader: Well, tin't we board information technology upward? I hateful, put some plywood over information technology?
Admiral: Well, that would look terrible. Nosotros've got to think most resale.
Vader: Resale? What are you lot talking about?! This property's right above Sunset, the value's only going to go up!
Admiral: Lord Vader, your inside references on the Los Angeles real estate market have non given you the clairvoyance to plow around that turn a profit on that condo in Glendale. Nor has it... [Vader's force chokes Motti]
Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing. That belongings is in a prime location, 20 minutes to the beach, 20 minutes to downtown...
Admiral: [gasps] There's...aught to do...downtown!
Tarkin: Enough of this! Vader, release him!
Vader: As y'all wish. [releases Motti] So, are nosotros going to plug up that pigsty?
Majestic Officer: Yeah. We can get it done tomorrow if price is no object.
Vader: Uhhhhh...
Officer: We'll get estimates.
Vader: Yes, estimates, yes.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert): How-do-you-do. My sexy friend and I are looking for a ship to take us to Alderaan, and I'm willing to pay large money.
Han Solo (Peter): Well, you've come to the right place. I'chiliad Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon and the only role player whose career isn't destroyed past this movie.
Luke Skywalker (Chris): Is it a fast transport?
Han: Are you kidding? Information technology'due south the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
Luke: Um, isn't a parsec a unit of measurement of distance, not time?
Han: [stammers] Chewie, take these guys to the ship and get her ready.
Chewbacca (Brian): [makes Chewbacca'due south trademark gargling roar for a second, and so spits out water in a nearby sink] Always gargle before a have-off. Wocka-wocka! All right, allow'due south get.
[Last lines]
Meg: Wow, Dad, cheers for keeping us entertained! That was a groovy story!
Chris: Yes, but didn't Robot Craven already practice this three months ago?
Peter: Well, I wouldn't worry almost it, Chris. I don't remember people are fifty-fifty aware of that evidence'southward existence.
Chris: I don't know, Dad. I remember a decent number of people scout information technology.
Peter: Oh, really? Define decent.
Chris: I recall it'southward the highest rated evidence on Cartoon Network, and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience.
Peter: Well, yeah, just double ten people is like, 20 people, then what kind of numbers are we talking about hither? Who knows?
Chris: Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. Information technology'due south a legitimate show, and they trounce you to the dial.
Peter: Uh, I don't know most that, Chris. I hateful, to me a legitimate evidence is on ABC, CBS, NBC, you know, i of the Real networks.
Chris: [chuckles] I don't know about that, Dad.
Peter: And besides, what'southward up with that 15-minute run fourth dimension? What is that? It's like xv minutes of guys playing with "Star Wars" dolls. Oh, yay, yaaay! Melody me in for that.
Chris: Oh, so yous do know the show?
Peter: I read part of a review online. I'm non a fan.
Chris: [angrily] You know, Dad, you're a real wiggle!
[After Chris leaves, Peter sings the Star Wars theme, with the screen cut to black afterwards the last notes]

Movin' Out (Brian's Vocal) [edit]

Lois: So, Meg, any luck finding some other job?
Meg: No. Inappreciably everyone's hiring right at present. The just job I could find was for a telephone sex line, and I sucked at it.
[cutting to Meg on the couch, on the phone]
1000000: What am I wearing? Um...a hat, and...spectacles? What kind of underwear? Um...I don't know...big underwear, I guess. I'm sorry, what? Oh. What would I do to yous? Well, um... I judge, maybe nosotros could get pizza, and...we could scout House?
[cut to Peter in the sleeping accommodation, on the phone, revealing he'south the caller]
Peter: All right, I am totally flaccid, but thank you anyhow, ma'am. I capeesh your time. [hangs up]
Journalist: This Tuesday on Lifetime, Valerie Bertinelli stars in a Lifetime Original movie.
Bertinelli: Y'all know, Doctor, you lot said you were gonna cure my cancer, merely all you did was rape me. I'chiliad starting to think I don't accept cancer at all.
Doctor: Well you lot're right...near the rape part. Merely I'm deplorable, you lot withal do accept cancer.
[Bertinelli then cries]
Announcer: Valerie Bertinelli in : Men Are Terrible And Will Injure You Considering This Is Lifetime

Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air [edit]

[the night after Joe'southward surgery, Joe and Bonnie finally take sex]
Joe: Yeah! YEAH! YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME! YEAH! SEX! SEX!! SEX!!!
[Peter, Cleveland, and Quagmire are rock climbing with Joe]
Joe: Wow, this is great! I feel so alive. Come on ladies kick your high heels off and get moving, you guys are a disgrace!
Quagmire: Peter, this doesn't seem safe.
Cleveland: Yeah, I'thousand afraid I might- [Cleveland falls off the mountain, then Spider-Man arrives, and shoots a web nether Cleveland, breaking his fall] Wow. Cheers, Spider-Human being!
Spider-Man: Everybody gets i. Tell him, Peter.
Peter: Uh, apparently, everybody gets ane.
Spider-Human being: Bingo! [shoots another web and flies away]

100th Episode Celebration [edit]

Seth MacFarlane: Hello America! I'm Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family unit Guy, here to talk to yous about some of the astonishing piece of work that's going on at the Dana-Farber Center for Cancer Research. [smiles] Oh, I'1000 but kidding. Tin can yous imagine? This night we're gonna watch some of my favorite clips from Family Guy as nosotros gloat 100 episodes of doing merely enough to become by.
MacFarlane: At the heart of any successful Telly family comedy is the family itself. Allow's take a stroll downwardly Spooner Street and relive some memorable moments from the family that helped make me, a poor Vietnamese immigrant, into a Caucasian Hollywood millionaire.
MacFarlane: Certain, Family Guy is a half hour of laughter, but it'due south also a half hour of learning. Let'due south take a look back at some Family Guy history lessons that have kept America'south high schoolers out of college.
MacFarlane: Welcome back to the Family unit Guy 100th Episode Celebration. Aren't you glad this isn't the Dharma & Greg prune show? Because past now, you would have already seen the Dharma clips and you'd exist stuck watching the Greg clips. God, what an awful, awful show. [10 2d interruption] Well, at present permit'southward check in once once again with some of our biggest fans!
MacFarlane: Yous know, some of my favorite moments on Family Guy over the years have been the musical numbers. They're the moments that keep us only i gay step ahead of the competition. So lighten those loafers and get prepare for us to suck your funny bone with some Family Guy-style show stoppers.
MacFarlane: Hahahaha! I forgot how funny I am!
MacFarlane: I hope yous've liked what you've seen and then far, and I know you're gonna enjoy the balance. [starts to toss a baseball into his gloved mitt repeatedly, playing catch with himself] And after information technology'due south over, what do you say you and I head out back and have a game of grab? We tin talk about the trouble y'all've been having at school and why girls are so interesting all of a sudden.
MacFarlane: Yous know, people oftentimes enquire me why there are so many pop culture references on the show. Well, I'll tell you. Family Guy likes to hold a mirror up to society and say "Gild, yous're ugly and we don't similar a lot of what you're doing". Here'southward just a modest sampling of our distaste.
MacFarlane: You know, through the years, Peter Griffin has had more jobs than y'all can milkshake a stick at. [smiling] You lot know, I never got that phrase, "milk shake a stick at". Did people in the old days shake sticks at things in big groups? [Seth and people behind the camera express mirth] See, I'm the engine that drives a lot of the comedy on the evidence. Let'south look at some of Peter'due south jobs.
MacFarlane: Nosotros'll be correct back with more Common cold Case. [more to himself than to anyone else] Some other atrocious show. And it's very tough to look at, the whole thing is just drab. And information technology's similar it's all shot with a blue filter, and information technology makes everything look really gray and unappealing. And Medium, I hate Medium. Come on, everybody!
MacFarlane: Well, nosotros hope you've enjoyed this await back at the offset 100 episodes of Family Guy. [property upward a drinking glass] And hither's the next 100. [a picayune chip agitated] And hopefully we won't get cancelled for two and a half fucking years in the middle again! [grin] Proficient night, America!

Stewie Kills Lois [edit]

[Stewie aims a gun at Lois]
Lois: What are you-- Wha-what are you doing with a gun?
Stewie: Something I should have washed a very long time ago. [shoots chop-chop at Lois until she falls into the water with blood on her chest] I DID IT! I KILLED HER! SHE'South DEAD! [laughs maniacally until he trips and cries] Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! ...Oh, yeah, that's right.
Judge: Mr. Foreman, how say you?
Mr. Foreman: We find Peter Griffin guilty of murder in the first degree.
Peter: Oh, no!
Bruce: Oh, no!
Brian: Oh, no!
Meg: Oh, no!
Chris: Oh, no!
[the Kool-Assist Human being bursts into the court over again]
Kool-Assistance-Man: OH, Aye!! [everyone stares at him, and he slowly backs out of the room]
Judge: Okay. Tin can I inquire everyone to please cease saying "Oh, no!" in this court? 'Cause the fuckin' Kool-Aid guy'south gonna go along showin' up! Thank you.

Lois Kills Stewie [edit]

Tom: Good evening. I'k Tom Tucker with Channel 5 News. We now get alive to Ollie Williams recapping the events of the last episode of Family Guy. What happened last time, Ollie?
Ollie: Stewie killed Lois!
Tom: Then what?
Ollie: Peter got blamed!
Tom: Then what?
Ollie: Peter went to court!
Tom: Then what?
Ollie: Lois came dorsum!
Tom: How?
Ollie: Wasn't really dead!
Tom: Thanks, Ollie. And now, part ii!
Lois: All right, Peter. I'grand going to kill Stewie. Dinner'south in the oven. All you accept to do is plough it to 350 at about v:15.
Peter: Yep, okay, Lois.
Lois: Are you listening?
Peter: Yeah.
Lois: What did I just say?
Peter: Turn the oven to 350 at 5:15! I heard it!

Padre de Familia [edit]

Brian: Peter, why did y'all have my acupuncturist arrested?
Peter: Because he was an illegal immigrant and a threat to our national security!
Brian: He was an 85 year erstwhile Korean Buddhist!
Peter: Or was he supreme leader of al-Queda? I estimate we'll find out if he ever gets a trial.
Brian: Peter, America was founded by immigrants. Anybody hither is the descendant of an immigrant. They're a vital part of our society.
Peter: They're part of the Rebel Brotherhood and a traitor! Take 'em away!
Peter: Well, I guess everything'south back to normal.
McDonald: [sings] Well, I estimate everything's back to normal.
Peter: Oh, human being. Not this guy over again!
McDonald: [sings] Oh, human being. Not this guy again!
[Peter farts]
McDonald: [sings] Fart!

Peter's Daughter [edit]

[during Meg and Michael's date, Michael notices a familiar face]
Michael: What the hell?
Meg: What's wrong?
Michael: Meg, I'1000 not sure, simply I think your dad is sitting at that table over there.
Meg: What? Where?
Michael: Well, I can't tell if it'south him. I call back he's wearing some kinda disguise.
[Meg turns effectually and notices Peter in a Chinese disguise]
Million: Oh, my God! Dad!
[she and Michael approach Peter]
Meg: What practise you retrieve you lot're doing?!
Peter: [Chinese emphasis] Peter? Who Peter?
Meg: I didn't say Peter. I said Dad!
Peter: [normally] Oh.
Meg: Have you been spying on u.s.a. the entire time we've been dating?!
Peter: Meg, it's only considering I wanna make sure this guy treats you right and doesn't try anything funny!
Michael: Million, this is more than I tin deal with. If your begetter is this opposed to our human relationship, I don't see how information technology can work out.
Meg: But, Michael.
Michael: I'g sorry, 1000000. I hope I won't forget you.
[he leaves]
Peter: Run into? Look, Million. He simply walked out on ya. He's a bad human being, like Jodie Foster.
[afterwards the abandoned house has been destroyed]
Brian: Didn't we take an electrician in at that place today?
Stewie: Uh, he left. Pretty sure he left.
Brian: Isn't that his truck?
[he turns Stewie's attention to the electrician's empty truck]
Stewie: Well, past God, Brian, we're murderers. I judge this ways you'll exist going to Doggie Hell.

McStroke [edit]

[Stewie, every bit Zac Sawyer, has won the respect of the popular kids]
Stewie: Fantabulous. I'm a bigger striking with the kids than Will Smith and his overnice, clean rap.
[cut to Will Smith recording a rap song]
Smith: Whoooo! Ha-ha! I respect women when I'm on a date,
I take 'em to the park or mayhap a museum.
And I only endeavour to kiss 'em if they're ready.
Whoo-hoo! What-what, what! A-what, I say, what-what?!
Assist out your mom and dad past gettin' a task
So you lot tin help pay for school supplies.
A-whoo-hoo! Say "Hoooo!"
Wipe your shoes on the mat when you lot come in the house.
Someone but clean that floor! Whoo-hoo! Say what-what! Ha-ha!
[Peter just crashed his car]
Homo in a canoe: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Peter: Stop mocking me!

Dorsum to the Woods [edit]

Wood: Non so fast, pal. Those are my clothes.
Peter: Oh, come on!
Joe: Y'all heard him, fella. Have 'em off. Right down to the poop sack.
[Peter takes his dress off and hands them to Woods; he and Woods give Joe a confused expect]
Joe: What? You don't all wear a poop sack? [angrily] DAMN IT, BONNIE! Y'all LIED TO ME Nearly THE POOP SACK!!
[Peter appears as James Woods on The Belatedly Prove with David Letterman]
Letterman: Wait a minute. You're not James Forest.
Peter: Oh, I believe I am. Commuter's license, Social Security bill of fare, American Express.
Woods: [at home with the Griffins] What the hell is he doing?
Letterman: Wow, I guess you are James Woods. So, uh, at present, let me understand this: What are you here to promote, James?
Peter: Well, Dave, I have a hilarious new movie comin' out on HBO next calendar month. It's all about 9/11. The motion picture'due south chosen September 11th, 2000-Fun.
[the studio audience gasps]
Woods: No! No! No! No! No!
Letterman: James, that sounds unbelievably offensive to Americans.
Peter: Well, you haven't heard what the movie's nearly. I play a window washer who has merely finished washing the last window of the World Trade Centre. And then I turn around to become off the scaffold, and what exercise you lot think I see coming? A plane! And I go, "Come on"! You know, information technology'south real, real old-style comedy, y'all know, it's like 2 pies in the face, and one in a field in Pennsylvania.
Letterman: James, I don't wanna hear anymore near this.
Peter: And the voice of the aeroplane is David Spade.
Forest: What?! I would never work with David Spade! That... dwarf. That... skinny chickenshit.

Play it Again, Brian [edit]

Television set: We now return to "Damn Nature, You Scary!" on BET.
Announcer: [as a chetah runs] Damn, wait at that sumbitch go! He haulin' ass! That thing come by my house, I impale it! [the chetah sees a meerkat, catches information technology, and eats it] That little rat-lookin' thing only got ate! Damn, nature! You scary!
Herbert: [reading Peter and the Wolf to Chris equally a bedtime story] "... and they told Peter to stay away from the wolf. But he didn't listen to them..." 'Cause he'south his own homo. And he knew that sometimes the things that seem the virtually unsafe turn out to be the most fun! Yeah, sir, it was a good day for young Peter... [whistles the theme to "Peter and the Wolf"]
Chris: Are you a pedophile?

The Former Life of Brian [edit]

[Brian is trying to learn magic to impress a woman]
Stewie: Mind, I'll be your assistant, and nosotros'll put on a whole large show!
Brian: Actually?
Stewie: Yeah, nosotros'll do all the great tricks. Y'all can even split me in one-half.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Saw me in one-half.
Lois: I don't know, Brian. Raising a kid is a very rewarding feel.
Peter: You know what else is rewarding, Lois? Shutting your vag.
Lois: What?
Peter: What?

Long John Peter [edit]

[Peter comes into the bar with the parrot on his shoulder]
Peter: Hey, guys, what's going on?
Joe: No fashion!
Quagmire: Cool!
Cleveland: That thing don't bite, practice it?
Peter: Guys, say howdy to Adrian Beakey.
Parrot: Choice a lane, bitch!
Peter: Hey, isn't that funny? He heard me say that on the way over in the auto.
Parrot: I gotta pee! Where's that Snapple canteen?
[Peter laughs]
Parrot: I had a gay feel at campsite!
Peter: [uncomfortable] Uh, yes, I had the radio on in the machine and they were talking near some crazy stuff... So what are you-what are y'all guys drinkin'?
[Chris is depressed because Anna left him]
Lois: Chris, dear, what's wrong?
Chris: Anna took a dump on me.
Lois: What?!
Chris: Yeah, she bankrupt up with me.
Lois: Oh-ho, she dumped you. That's what you meant to say.
Chris: What'due south the difference?
Lois: Well, when two people love each other very much, sometimes they testify it by- y- never mind.
Family unit Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century FOX. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation DO Not claim buying nor authorship of the contents on this folio. The contents of this page are meant for reference proposes only. Wikiquote, nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, has no amalgamation to 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in any fashion, shape, or course.

External links [edit]

Wikipedia

  • Family Guy quotes at the Cyberspace Moving-picture show Database
  • Family Guy at Television set.com
  • FamilyGuy.com
  • Family Guy Quotes
  • FamilyGuyQuotes.com
  • Family Guy Resources
Family Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century Play a joke on. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation DO Not claim buying nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference proposes simply. Wikiquote, nor its parent visitor, The Wikimedia Foundation, has no amalgamation to 20th Century FOX, or its parent company, News Corp, in whatsoever mode, shape, or grade.

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Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Family_Guy/Season_6

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